As parents, choosing the right school for our children is a moment filled with fear, uncertainty, and often a few sleepless nights. After all, we all want what’s best for our children.
But I invite you to reflect: is what they’re selling me as “the best” really what my child needs?
Just as there is no such thing as the perfect family, let me tell you that there’s no such thing as the perfect school either. But far from being a problem, this can actually be a gift we give our children. Because this is exactly where education plays its most important role—helping them grow and face the real world one day, carrying a backpack full of experiences and tools to overcome and navigate any challenge.
As a teacher, I’ve sometimes overheard conversations among school families or during parent meetings phrases like: “My child isn’t like that at home,” or “They don’t understand him in this school.” And these have led me to reflect on what I call the concept of a “silent disconnection.”
When home and school find a path together, the child feels supported from all sides, and the results are better—because we stop pulling in opposite directions and start building bridges.
For a child, hearing the same message from both of their key environments provides emotional and cognitive stability.
When the adults around them listen to each other, respect each other, and support each other, the child notices it—and it builds their confidence. That’s why it’s so important to establish good communication and to bridge that silent disconnection that we might be feeding without even realizing it, which in turn can create distance between family and school.
To minimize this silent disconnection, it’s essential for schools to share with families certain psychoeducational insights, such as:
- A child’s development is never linear or automatic.
- We must understand and accept that each child moves at their own pace and needs emotionally safe spaces both at home and at school.
- Many behaviors are actually signs or reflections of a communication difficulty, a symptom, or an unmet or poorly expressed need.
- The key to good education lies not so much in correcting, but much more in understanding and accompanying.
- Establishing clear communication is fundamental so that no informational gaps arise between parents and educators.
Keys to a strong school-family connection:
- Frequent and clear communication. Don’t wait for a problem to arise to schedule a meeting or have a conversation. A good relationship is built through day-to-day communication.
- Active and non-judgmental listening. Each party may see a different side of the child, and often listening to each other helps all the pieces of the puzzle come together.
- Coherence. The goal isn’t to think exactly the same, but to seek common ground and respect each other’s boundaries. This will give the child stability and security.
- Value achievements and focus on the positive. Sometimes we focus too much on what’s “missing” or what’s “wrong,” but we shouldn’t overlook what is working.
- Be willing to seek help when needed. There may come a time when we need to turn to educational psychologists, counselors, or other specialists to help our children. Asking for help is not a failure—it’s a brave and responsible decision.
Small gestures like a message asking how the day went, a note of thanks for a kind act or effort, a follow-up meeting… it all adds up! When adults understand each other, children feel it.
Have you ever experienced something similar? Do you sometimes feel a gap between what happens at home and what happens at school? Would you like to improve that relationship but don’t know how?
Share it in the comments—your experience might help someone else, too.
